


No Apologies Necessary

by mggislife2789



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: F/M, Prison, Reader-Insert, Sad smut, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-19
Updated: 2018-08-19
Packaged: 2019-06-29 10:05:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15727188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mggislife2789/pseuds/mggislife2789
Summary: Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or their original stories. This is only for fun. It's where my brain goes after the credits roll. No copyright intended. Better safe than sorry. ;)





	No Apologies Necessary

Spencer hadn’t spoken save for a few words for almost a week. 

You’d expected it, but after being parted for so long, it still hurt to see him so broken. Even with you, his wife, the person he was most comfortable with in the entire world - and even you he could barely look in the eye. 

While he was stuck in there, he refused to see you or talk to you, desperately wanting to keep you from the horrors there and while you understood, it also pained you. As his partner in life, you didn’t want him to have to shoulder all of this pain on his own.

The night he came home you barely slept, afraid that if you did you wouldn’t be there for him when he needed you. And he needed you now more than ever. All night, he’d tossed and turned, waking up covered in sweat on more than one occasion, screaming for Luis, screaming for his friends, screaming for you - all until his throat was raw. 

Ghosts of what went on inside those walls plagued his mind each and every night. It was only about three days after, or maybe four, you were too tired to tell, that you finally fell asleep and allowed yourself the rest you needed to care for your husband properly. 

When you could finally think straight, you attempted to talk to Spencer, to get him to open up to you again. Even if he didn’t talk about his time in prison (which would make sense all things considered), you could get him to just talk to you about anything. But that didn’t work either.

Your husband went about his daily routine - showering, brushing his teeth, eating breakfast, downing coffee - he did all of it without a word. 

It was only after a week that he acknowledged he wasn’t alone in this. Just the simple ‘good morning, love’ lifted a weight off your shoulders. It gave you hope that maybe you could both get passed this one day. Work together again through the tough times and revel in the good. 

Tonight, he was asleep in your arms. After the shaking had subsided, you fell asleep against the headboard until he woke up screaming. “Spence! Baby! I’m here,” you breathed softly. “I’m here. You’re not alone. I promise.”

Spencer sobbed into your shoulder and clung to you for dear life - like your skin was the only thing tethering to this life. Without you, his mind would still be there every moment of every day. At least with you there was a reprieve. “I’m sorry,” he said after about 15 minutes. “I’m sorry I woke you. I’m sorry I pulled you into this. I’m sorry I abandoned you for so many months. You d-deserve so much more,” he said on an exhale, his throat raw from crying. 

Tilting his head up, you pressed a kiss to the tip of his nose. “Look at me,” you said, eyes glazed over with tears. “You have nothing to be sorry for. You told me about what you were doing. I knew the risks and I was okay with it. You didn’t abandon me. You were taken from me. And no matter how bad things get now, I’m here. I want you to wake me up so you don’t have to do this alone.”

“So much happened, I don’t want to-”

It was what he always did. He tried to protect you from the horrors he saw and the horrors he experienced, but the problem with that was the long run. Taking on the world yourself meant you’d break quickly, or break sooner than you would have had you not confided in another. “I know, but in our vows, I said in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. By yourself, your shoulders will break under this weight, but with me we can do this together.”

“I don’t know what I did to deserve you,” he whispered against your lips.

“You love me wholeheartedly.”

When he kissed you, it started out tentatively, him controlling the movements, pushing and pulling away as he tried to figure out how to let you in again. “We can take things as slowly as you need, Spence.”

On an inhale, he kissed you again, more fervently, his hand snaking into your hair. “I need you.”

“How?” 

Did he need to be in control? Did he want you to take the reigns? Did he not want to think? You waited for a signal from him - something that would tell you exactly what he needed.

Gently, he pulled you toward him and into his lap. “If anything is not okay, please tell me,” you said. “Please.”

“I will. I just need you.”

You reached down and thanked whatever higher power there was that you’d worn just a shirt to bed tonight for the first time in ages. After pulling your panties to the side, you slipped your hand into his boxers and released his length, careful to be as gentle as possible. You hadn’t been together like this in months, so you were even more tentative than you had been when you first started dating. 

As the dim lights of the nightlight on the wall illuminated your curves, Spencer pulled your shirt off and then his own, burying his head in your chest and just breathing. “I’m so sorry,” he said again.

Immediately, you stopped, wondering if he was okay before realizing he was just apologizing again for something he’d had very little control over. You readied him at your entrance and slid down, taking him inch by inch. “Oh, Spence. I’m here. You don’t have to do this alone anymore.”

Slowly, you pushed against the bed with your thigh muscles and moved against him, paying special attention to the way his body craved yours - like a drug he’d been missing for too long. That was something else all together. His cravings must’ve been through the roof while he was in there, but there were no track marks, only the faded ones of long ago. He was so much stronger than he gave himself credit for. 

Tears streamed down his face, mixing with your own as you continued to move up and down, slowly, teasing, so he could get accustomed to you again. “Fuck, Y/N, I…”

His breath caught in his throat when he felt his orgasm rising. He tried desperately to bit his lip, to inflict some kind of pain that might distract him long enough to keep this going for a while longer, but when he heard you whisper for him to let go, he couldn’t help himself. He dug his nails into your skin and held you in place as he twitched inside you, no boundaries to be had. “I love you so much. I’m so-”

You put your finger against his lips. “No apologizing to me,” you repeated. “There’s no need.”

“I just want to do something to make up for lost time,” he cried, pulling you against him as you both lay down again to sleep. “Something-”

You did too, but the reality was that there was no making up for lost time. You could only move forward. “Just promise me that you’ll wake me when you have nightmares. Let me be your wife and help you through this and that will be enough for me.” You just wanted your husband back, but without working through the pain that wouldn’t be possible. 

“I will,” he replied. “It may take a while to talk about everything.”

“That’s fine,” you said. “We have time.”


End file.
